Can’t believe I have been lazy and not continuing writing for another week……

WHY move on? Well, actually I should do this already, since graduating from the TEAM AWESOME. But for the past year, we have been messaging each other, we became good friends, and it is so hard to move on. But one of us has to move on first, and he did. I called him two weeks ago for asking Netflix password, and accidentally disturbed his time with his date. I paused for a while, became down for a while. I didn’t cry or turned into a crazy woman like last year. It is like a heavy stone lying down on my chest, I just feel sad.

However, after a while, I calmed down, because I should have prepared for this to happen already. I should have known he didn’t belong to me anymore. When I chose to leave Japan, I chose another road already. Even if I can go back then, I don’t think I will change my mind. No one’s life is perfect, to pursue perfect state, we all need to sacrifice something. I sacrificed the right to have my beloved one, and even sacrifice the chance to love again in the future…… I am sorry but I don’t regret. But, even the chance is nearly zero, I still expect someday in the future, when we meet again, when the destiny still support us, we can be together again.

So, he moved on, and I am happy for him. Although I have no idea his new date is what kind of new date, I am happy when he asked me if we can still message each other. I think I am happy that he still cannot 100% get over me? Haha, yes, probably. I am selfish, because this is not fair to him or his new date, but just let me keep that selfishness. After all, I don’t have many chances to do whatever I want.

But, what about me? Did I move on? Well I have been moving on, but just not in the love part. I have been concentrating on working, exercising, and cooking, forgetting looking for a new partner. Now I have no concerns about how to arrange work and maintaining the relationship. And I have been working on how to make myself live a healthy life and become like WONDER WOMAN. I have been researching different recipes, ingredients, and all kinds of restaurant. And now I started to write my blog, trying to cut down the research time on food haha. I feel like I am doing revenge to myself or my dad, but so what? I am satisfied with my life now. This is just another way of life, just a transfer of attention to another place.

He, the same, got released from the relationship. He doesn’t need to worry of moving outside Japan anymore. No one will lecture him anymore. He went back to smoking and drinking, like how he was before we started dating. I am really thankful at that time he changed it for me then, but I think he is tried of being confined by so many PERFECT standards I put on him. I hope he can live happier. And although this is super hard to do it than just say it, I still hope he can find a girl in Japan and get married with her, live together, no long distance problem, and make a family. I know he is craving for building a family with someone. After all, based on my current health condition, even if we didn’t break up, I cannot fulfill his wish either……